1. Teach that Anger is Okay, But Not Violence. I always tell my kids that it is wrong to hurt anyone physically or emotionally. I ask them to tell me or any older person that is around when someone tries to bully them.
2. Watch Your Own Temper. Yay! There are times that I get into a fight with the hubby even if the kids are around so I might as well not let them see our arguments and just have to be more cautious of what I say and do infront of the kids.
3. Teach Them to Take Breaks or Walk Away. When the kids fight I ask them to explain their sides of the story and I don’t care whoever starts the fight, they are both grounded. I ask them to stay away from each other but then in an hour they get back on each others noses and seems like nothing happened.
4. Give Them Words to Express Feelings. This is something that I should practice more. I need to help the kids to express their feelings, especially Inno. Well I guess I need to try to be more creative on talking to them about what they feel.
5. Keep Outbursts in Perspective. Sometimes there’s a deeper reason why they go into a fit. I have to know what is the cause of the anger and hear what they have to say.
6. Help Them Feel Safe. This is something that I have to do more often, on letting them know that it is okay to tell me everything. That I will never get mad at them even if they tell me something that I do not approve. That I will always be here to protect them and not be bias with the other siblings.
I have an additional tip:
7. Sometimes you have to let them cry out their frustrations and anger. When they finish crying their hearts out and calmed down, they are more inclined to listen and accept their faults and the explanation that you need them to understand.
Having information about these things when you are in doubt is a relief. Its comforting to know that I am not the only one who is having this dilemma.
MAMA ...
My Mom is a very strong woman. No offense to my father, she has always been the resolver of all the problems our family has encountered. When my father became an “OFW”, she had a much tougher role to play of being a mother and a father to me and my 3 sisters.
Mama is not the nurturing kind. I guess she wanted us to be independent like her. At an early age my older sister and I learned to do things in the house. I was in grade two or three when I started to learn how to cook, wash my clothes and take care of my younger sister. I was a bit hard-headed in my younger years ( I guess up to now in some ways), I always want to do things my way, so I was always in a spanking-spree with my mom. I think the spanking helped me to keep in mind how to give and get respect from people. I am thankful for the tough love that she gave me, because through it all, I learned to be stronger, respectful, fair and true to myself.
I am sad that mama is not her “old self” anymore. For some time now, she needs to be taken cared of. She can’t control her reflexes. She can’t do simple tasks like bathing herself. I know how it hurts her to be this way. She has taken care of the family all these years and I know how difficult it is for her not being able to do that anymore. Up to now I can’t accept the fact that she is in this state. She has done some test, the doctor’s can not determine the cause that has brought her in this situation. I know that I have not given my all to help her, and it breaks my heart knowing this. I want to see her the way she used to be. God please help me what to do.
Happy Mother’s day mom! God knows how I love you so.
Death ...
“Deathis the end of life of biological organisms and, by extension, the permanent end of anything ”- Wikipedia
Death will always be unexpected. Noone can ever determine the exact time that a person will take his last breath. I think no one is really ready for an event like this.
Death has different meaning to all of us. It depends to every individual on how we take this sudden loss of a loveone. It is much easier to think that death would mean that the person we lost will be in the Lord’s loving arms.
I sometimes ask myself, how can you console someone who losses someone who is a part of its whole being, someone that she is used to see and talk to everyday of his life? I think there is no comforting words that we can ever take away what they feek. We’ll never know the gravity of the loss that they are experiencing.
My Uncle Romeo Olpindo,65, passed away during an open heart surgery , Tuesday, March 30. He is a kind man and I know that he is in heaven. I feel for my aunt and cousins, the only thing that I can do is to pray that they will soon find acceptance and peace. I know God will always be there to console their heavy heart.